Simple Personal Problem
by ASlaveToWords
Summary: Something is distractng Renji. What's wrong with him? Is it her? Will he figure it out, or will he die trying? --Rated just in case--


**A/N: **OK, let's try this again lol. This is my I don't know how many-th time posting this story after deleting it multiple times! It kept having problems and eventually I got so pissed off I just deleted it. Hopefully I've fixed everyhting this time and it's all good!!  
So, this is a RenjiXOC story. It takes place sometime before Rukia disappears into the world of the living. In this story Renji is close, childhood friends with Rukia, but he's not in love with her like we all assume he is in the show. PLEASE R&R! It would really mean a lot and help make my stories better!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach or any of the characters. I only own this story/idea and the OC (Miu).

* * *

Soft, cool, summers breeze. Clear, cloudless, blue skies. A quiet, peaceful afternoon. To Abarai Renji, this kind of day was perfection at its finest. Or at least, that's how he usually thought. But not today, today was different. Today, the things that usually meant so much to him were now the furthest things from his mind. The latter being in utter turmoil, it was a wonder the poor red-head was able to focus on anything at all.  
"What is _wrong_with me?!" Renji muttered to himself irritably, looking out over Seireitei from his favorite spot.  
"I don't understand... Why can't I focus right lately?"  
Renji sighed and sat down at the base of the huge tree atop the hill he was on. He merely had time to close his eyes and lay his head against the gentle giant before his thoughts were interrupted.  
"That's precisely what I want to know."  
"Huh?" Renji turned his head and now noticed his Squad Captain standing beside him, overlooking the scene Renji had himself just been absently observing.  
"Captain Kuchiki."  
Renji starred at his Superior for a few moments, then frowned and once more closed his eyes and replaced his head against the tree.  
"How long have you been there?" He asked the man. "Sir?" He added reluctantly when he felt the other mans eyes on him.  
Byakuya looked back out over the scene and starred silently for a few minutes. But soon enough he spoke again.  
"Long enough." Byakuya said. "But you haven't yet told me what I want to know."  
Renji opened his eyes again and looked back up at his Captain, seeing now that the man was again looking down at him.  
"What_ is _wrong with you Renji?"  
To one who did not know the tall refined man, the soft-spoken question could have easily been mistaken as one of concern or kindness. Perhaps even as much as a friendly gesture. But Renji knew the difference. It was a rhetorical question and a warning, and Renji knew what was coming next  
The squad 6 captain looked forward and his face remained placid as ever as he continued.  
"Your usual performance is laking Renji, and I am not pleased. As Lieutenant of my Squad, I expect better from you. I don't give a damn what's going on in your head or what you're dealing with, if it's affecting your performance you'd better take care of it. If not, let me assure you; you are easily replaceable, and easily disposable. Fix it."  
With that said, Byakuya turned with a swish of robes and walked away.

Renji remained where he was and looked back out over the scene before him, easily forgetting his Captain. He sat on the hill for hours, simply sifting through his thoughts and not paying the slightest attention to his surroundings. At around mid-day, he was still in the same place.  
"Hey Renji, I've been looking for you. Missed you at practice today."  
Renji jumped, startled by the new voice. Looking to his right, his eyes met with someone he knew all too well. He smiled at the girl now sitting beside him.  
"Hey Miu. Yea, I decided to skip it today... had a lot on my mind."  
Miu was the first seat in Squad Eleven. She was one of their best fighters and one of Renji's closest friends. He enjoyed spending time with her and sparring when they had free time. She was the only person who knew him inside out, sometimes he wondered whether she knew him better than he knew himself.

Miu leaned against the tree with him and looked out over the scene he was admiring.  
"So I noticed." She said with a smile. Renji smiled too and looked ahead of him again.  
"So, what are you thinking about?" Miu asked him. Renji let out an irritated sigh before answering her.  
"Well, I'm sure you noticed how distracted I've been lately."  
Miu nodded and looked at him.  
"Yea. I was beginning to worry about you. What's wrong?"  
Renji frowned.  
"Yea well, that's the problem... to be honest, I really don't know what's wrong with me. Just... somethings been on my mind, but I don't know what it is."  
"Well, maybe you're just loosing your touch Renji. Maybe you've been hanging around me too much, and your skills are just dulling next to my superior ones."  
Renji looked at Miu and noted the wide grin on her face. Those simple words would have flared his temper had anyone else said them, but from her, they were simply playful and easily dismissed. Renji laughed and wrapped an arm around Miu, pulling her to him and giving her a nuggie.  
"Oh yea? Tell me, who's superior now huh?"  
Miu laughed and tried to pull away from him but he held her fast. Finally she gave up struggling and relaxed.  
"Fine. You win this time." She said with a laugh.  
Renji laughed with her and let her go. Miu shook her head as she fixed her hair.  
"You're such a bully." She said with a mock pout. Renji feigned a hurt look.  
"What? A bully? Aw, that hurts Miu!"  
Renji placed a hand over his heart and Miu laughed, causing Renji to smile and continue.  
"I'm sorry, I'll be nicer next time."  
"You better!" Miu said with a grin. She then gave him a playful push.  
As soon as her hand came in contact with him, Renji felt like he'd been shocked. All of a sudden, his sight went cloudy and images, images he recognised as his memories, began to flash before his eyes.

* * *

_Renji was sitting on a huge bolder in the forest, watching his squad training. They were practicing a new move he had been trying to teach them but they weren't having much luck with it. Eventually one of the men looked at him.  
"Lieutenant Abarai, I can't get the hang of this at all! Please, can't you show us one more time?"  
Renji sighed and stood up.  
"This is the last time. It's the same every time I do it, so watching me a thousand times isn't going to make you better."  
Renji walked up to the squad's first seat and took his position in front of him.  
"Now, watch. When you-" But Renji's words were cut short when he caught sight of a girl sitting on a rock near by. She smiled and waved at him.  
"Sorry Luteninent, I was just watching your practice. I hope you don't mind."  
Renji starred at her for a moment.  
"_Don't I know her?..._" He thought to himself. After pondering this thought for a few seconds, her identity came to him.  
"_That's right, she's in Squad Eleven... Kenpachi was really impressed with her the first time he saw her fight... she recently got promoted to First Seat didn't she?_"  
"Uh, Sir?"  
Renji shook his head and noticed the girl was starring at him. He cleared his throat and looked away from her, now feeling a slight tension in his body.  
"Uh, no.. No I don't mind. You can watch if you like."_

_Renji turned then back to his sparring partner.  
"As I was saying, when you're in this kind of situation, the only defense you have is offensive. Watch."  
Renji made to attack his partner but his mind was now greatly distracted, vying towards the beautiful girl sitting just to the side of him. Because of this, he found himself flat on his back in seconds.  
The entire squad gasped loudly and everything went silent. Renji's partner was looking down at him rather nervously.  
"Uh, S-sorry Lutinent!"  
Renji starred up in shock. It was the first time anyone had ever taken him down. After a few moments, he shook it off and stood up, ignoring the many hands offered to him.  
"It's fine." He mumbled. "There you go. That's how you do it... now keep practicing."  
Renji dusted himself off and walked away from his squad. He barely registered the whispers from them as he departed.  
"Idiot, he wasn't ready!"  
"Yea! That so didn't count!"  
"I wonder what happened? No one's ever taken him down before.."  
"Something must be wrong with him..."  
"I wonder what's wrong?"  
Renji's mind was reeling, what HAD happened to him?None of his squad ever mentioned the take down and it was obvious they didn't count it, but Renji's pride was bruised badly and his mind was in turmoil. What had happened??_

--

_It was late in the afternoon and Renji had been practicing his spell attacks. He was alone on the practice field and had numerous moving targets set up for himself. So far, he had managed to destroy each one first shot and with record timing. He was proud of himself. He spent at least part of each day practicing here and he couldn't remember the last time he'd missed. It had been years at least. He had only a few targets left, but as he prepared to fire at one, a voice interrupted him.  
"You're really good Lieutenant."  
Renji turned around and saw Squad Eleven's first seat behind him.  
"Thanks." He replied, feeling the same tension he'd felt in the forest. "How long have you been there?"  
She smiled at him. Renji felt a bubbling in the pit of his stomach. She had such a beautiful smile. Renji mentally shook his head to rid himself of these thoughts.  
"A while. Long enough to see how skilled you are."  
Renji starred at her for a minute, then moved until he was in front of her and stuck out his hand.  
"I'm Renji."  
She looked a little surprised, but eventually she beamed and shook his hand.  
"I know who you are Lieutenant, but it's an honour to officially meet you! My name is Miu. Shima Miu."  
Renji gave her a small smile.  
"Nice to meet you Miu."  
"You too sir!"  
Renji gave her an odd look, then laughed a little.  
"You don't have to call me sir... or Lieutenant. Renji is fine."  
Again Miu looked shocked but she quickly recovered and smiled wide.  
"If your sure."  
"I'm sure."  
"So, can I watch you practice again?"  
Renji felt his tension tighten.  
"Uh.. yea, sure." He replied. He then turned back to the target, trying his best to push the discomfort to the back of his mind. When he prepared to fire, he noticed with great annoyance that his hands were shaking slightly. He shook them and took a deep breath, then took aim. A split second later, the spell shot from his hands -- but not a target had been touched._

_Renji stood starring ahead of him with his mouth hung wide.  
"I-I missed..." He said in shock.  
"That's OK, everyone misses sometimes." Miu said encouragingly.  
"Not me!" Renji snapped.  
"I'm sorry sir, I'll leave you alone."  
Renji turned back to look at her and noted the hurt look on her face. He sighed and gave her a weak smile.  
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you, it's not your fault I missed... I guess I've just been at this too long. Maybe I need a break. Would you like to take a walk with me?"  
Miu smiled again.  
"Sure! I'd love to."  
Renji smiled at her and followed after her. When she was ahead of him, he looked over his shoulder at the missed target with a frown._

--

_"Hey Renji, isn't that Miu over there?"  
"What?" Renji turned to his left and saw the girl close by. The distraction nearly lost him his ear as his sparring partner made a swipe at him. He turned to the boy and gave him a stern look.  
"Sorry sir!" The boy apologised quickly.  
Izuru and Momo laughed. The three had been taking turns sparring with one of the younger students. It was Renji's turn to teach the boy and they had been sparring for the past hour and a half, but when Izuru mentioned Miu, his attention turned to her.  
Renji looked back to Miu again, who was standing nearby watching. She smiled and waved at him. He smiled slightly and waved back.  
"Don't mind me, just watching." She called with a smile.  
Renji nodded as Momo and Izuru walked up to him.  
"She sure is pretty." Momo said with a smile.  
"Yea..." Renji said, still looking at Miu.  
"What's this? Has our boy found a loveinterest?" Izuru said, nudging Renji teasingly. Renji snorted and turned away.  
"Don't be stupid. She's just a friend."  
"A rather beautiful friend." Izuru prodded playfully.  
Renji looked back at Miu and she smiled at him again. He smiled back half-heartedly. Momo grinned then, catching on to what Izuru was getting at.  
"And an extremly talented friend." She added suggestively.  
"Yea, so?" Renji said, turning back to them.  
"And one who seems to spend a lot of time with you." Izuru said.  
"So?!" Renji replied, growing a little frustrated now. "I told you, we're just friends! It's no different than Rukia and me."  
"Oh, I think there's a big difference!" Momo said excitedly. "You don't look at Rukia the way you look at her!"  
"I don'tlook at her any differently than I do anyone else!" Renji said irritably.  
"And you aren't as close to Rukia as you are with her!" Izuru said, ignoring the comment.  
Renji growled and pushed past them.  
"That's enough! We're supposed to be training someone!"  
Momo and Izuru looked at each other and grinned but they said nothing else._

_Renji took up his place in front of the boy again.  
"Ready!"  
The boy held up his sword.  
"Defend!"  
The boy took up a defensive stance.  
"Attack!"  
Renji attacked -- and got cut.  
You could have heard a pin drop as Renji starred at the bleeding cut on his arm with an emotionless expression. After a few moments, Momo stepped up and placed a hand on Renji's uninjured arm.  
"Renji..." She said timidly. Renji's face contorted into anger and he roughly pulled his arm away from Momo.  
"I'm fine!" He snapped angrily. He then thrust the practice sword into the ground and stormed away.  
"Practice is over!" He shouted angrily over his shoulder.  
"_What is wrong with me lately?!"_ He thought angrily._

_Once Renji had left the forest, he felt a presence behind him. He turned around to tell them to go away but stopped when he saw Miu standing there.  
"You know... everyone makes mistakes from time to time..." She said softly.  
Renji wanted to yell at her, to scream at her, to tell her she was wrong because he never made mistakes. He, Abarai Renji, was one of the elite, one of the best. But instead, he simply sighed and looked away from her.  
"Yea well... it's not something I'm used to." He said quietly. He began walking again and Miu followed him. It was quiet for a while until she eventually broke the silence.  
"Renji?"  
"Yea?"  
"I can fix that if you'll let me."  
Renji stopped and looked at her.  
"What?"  
Miu pointed to his arm.  
"I can fix that."  
Renji looked down at his blood covered arm, forgetting that he had been cut.  
"Oh, right... uh.. yea, sure."  
Miu reached inside her uniform and pulled out a small pouch. From it she took out some gauze, bandages and sterilizer. She poured the liquid on the gauze, then rolled up Renji's sleeve and dabbed it on the huge cut, which was a lot bigger than either of them had thought. Renji flinched slightly as Miu cleaned up the wound, then bandaged it firmly. When she was done, she stood back and admired her work with a smile.  
"There you go! Good as new."  
Renji flexed his arm experimentally, then looked at her and smiled.  
"Thanks Miu." He said gently.  
"Hey, no problem." She replied, returning his smile_.

* * *

"Renji?...Renji?..."  
Renji blinked and shook his head slightly. He looked at Miu who was starring at him with a worried expression.  
"Are you alright?" She asked, now that he was finally looking at her.  
"Yea.. yea I'm fine..."  
Miu gave him a skeptical look, then shook her head and laughed.  
"Well, if your sure."  
Renji smiled at her.  
"Yea, I'm sure."  
Miu then looked up at the sky.  
"Well, I'd better get going again. I told Captain Kenpachi I'd meet him and the Lieutenant for training this afternoon... we're supposed to be training some of the new recruits or something."  
Miu stood up and dusted herself off, then looked back down at Renji again.  
"Well, I'll see you later Lieutenant." She said playfully, giving him a mock salute. Renji laughed and gave Miu a playful push.  
"Don't you have somewhere to be?" He said with a laugh. She laughed with him and waved, then turned and sped away.

Renji watched Miu leave with a smile on his face. When she was gone, he shook his head and leaned back against the tree again.  
Just then, all his thoughts came rushing back to him and he frowned. Ever since the first time he'd met her, Miu always made him nervous. He'd be doing excellent, perfect and flawless until she'd showed up. Then he couldn't seem to concentrate. It didn't always happen, it wasn't merely her presence that did it to him. It didn't matter when they were fighting or training together, or when there were large crowds and she wasn't paying attention to him. It was only when she was specifically watching him and only him that he got nervous. Nervous and distracted. And it was only Miu who did it to him.

Renji pulled his knees to his chest and cradled his head in his hands. It didn't make any sense. None of it. He'd known Miu for decades now, nearly as long as he'd known Momo and Izuru. She was the closest person he had, moreso even than Rukia. But was there more to it than friendship? Was there a reason that the girl always distracted him?  
"No! Of course not!" Renji thought, shaking the thought from his head. "Miu is just a friend!"  
But the more Renji thought about it, the more he came to realize the truth. There was a reason. There was an explanation as to why Miu distracted him so much. She was more than his friend. More that a companion, a sparring partner, a training buddy, another friendly soul reaper -- She was his life. His hearts desire.

Renji sighed in frustration. He couldn't deny it any more. How long had he felt this way? How long had he been pushing such obvious feelings to the back of his mind? Ignoring them, denying them? He didn't know. Was it just lately? Was it years? Or had it been since the first time he'd met her? He didn't know. All he knew was that the hardest part was over. He had admitted to himself exactly how much she meant to him. He, Abarai Renji, was totally, completely, utterly and helplessly in love with Shima Miu.  
As he looked up at the sun, now low in the slowly darkening sky, Renji knew what he had to do. He stood up and turned around, speeding off in flashes in the direction of the Squad Eleven training grounds.

Renji reached his destination in a few minutes and held back as he watched Miu fighting a young boy. She looked like she was on a rampage, the familiar look to kill plastered on her face like always. The poor boy was hard pressed just to fend her off, he had no chance at an offensive move whatsoever. Miu swung her sword over her head and brought it down hard on her opponents weapon, cracking it into a hundred pieces and knocking the boy to the ground. His expression was that of fear and he threw his arm over his face as Miu's sword came down on him fast and hard.

Miu's sword came down on the boy's arm and cut through his sleeve. He took his arm away and saw her starring at him with a smile, hand extended to him. He took it and she pulled him to his feet.  
"You did good Kaito. Much better than last time. Next time, make sure you keep your stance. No matter how much the odds seem to be pitted against you, know that there's always a chance you could win."  
The boy smiled at her and bowed.  
"Yes ma'am! I'll remember that next time. Thank you!"  
Miu nodded at the boy and he ran off. She then sighed and looked at Ikkaku, who was standing close by.  
"That's the last of them Ikkaku."  
Ikkaku nodded.  
"Alright. I'll go tell the Captain we're finished."  
Miu nodded and Ikkaku left.

Renji smiled and walked up to Miu.  
"You're really something you know that." He said with a smile. "No wonder you're Squad Eleven's first seat. If it wasn't for Kusajishi, you'd be Lutinent."  
Miu starred at Renji for a moment, then nodded slightly.  
"Thanks Renji. What's bothering you?"  
This caught Renji off guard. He was stunned that she could always simply look at him and know there was something wrong. She was the absolute only person who could do it as everyone else had such a hard time trying to read him.  
"How do you do that?" He asked her, avoiding the question.  
"After so many decades, you catch on. And don't change the subject."  
Renji sighed and looked away.  
"I really need to talk to you." He said quietly.  
"I'm listening." She replied in an equally soft tone.  
"Well, I-"  
"Feather! Kenny's looking for you, he says it's important. You'd better hurry!"  
Renji looked behind Miu at the tiny Squad Eleven Lieutenant. The little pink haired girl annoyed him beyond compare. Feather? Come on! Couldn't she have been more creative than that? But then, the girl wasn't really known for adorning people with flattering nicknames.  
Renji mentally shook his head and looked back to Miu. She gave him a sympathetic smile.  
"We'll talk later, OK?" She said, placing her hand on his arm gently.  
"Yea, sure... later."  
Renji watched Miu walk away and sighed miserably. He was sure that the only way to reclaim control of his mind was to get rid of this burden, but it seemed he'd never get the chance. So with nothing else to do, Renji headed back to his room, deciding to take a quick nap. Would this torture never end?

* * *

Renji arrived back at his room and took off his uniform, laying his zanpaktou on top of the folded material. He laid down and placed his hands behind his head. His mind was still in turmoil but after what felt like hours, he managed to will himself into a deep sleep.

_"You know Renji, I don't think I've ever met anyone as handsome as you."  
Renji looked at the beautiful girl beside him.  
"Really?" He asked skeptically. She bit her lip in a way that made him want to jump her, and nodded with a slight blush on her cheeks.  
"Um hm. Renji?"  
"Yea?"  
"Kiss me."  
Renji gaped her.  
"Wh-what?"  
She leaned in until she was mere millimeters from his face.  
"Kiss me." She whispered. Renji shivered as her warm breath danced across his face. He swallowed hard, his heart pounding a million times a second. Finally! After all these years! He wanted this more than anything! He leaned in, lips brushing hers. Just a little -_

Renji sat bolt-upright as a loud bang woke him. He heard the sounds of laughing and voices outside and listened, continuing to do so as they grew further and further away until he could no longer hear them. Then he cradled his head in his hand and sighed heavily.  
"Even in my sleep I can't stop thinking about her!"  
Renji got up and got dressed, deciding he needed some fresh air. He walked aimlessly for a while and eventually ended up at a pond in the forest.  
"Well why not, this is as good a place as any."  
He sat down beside it and starred out over the water. He had barely sat down when Miu's image appeared before him. He sighed again.  
"What am I suppose to say..." He said sadly. "How do you tell a friend you've known for this long that you love them..."  
Renji sighed in frustration and watched Miu's transparent image dance before him. He watched her for what felt like hours until he eventually felt a presence next to him.  
Renji turned to his right and saw Miu's very real form sitting there.  
"So, what did you want to talk about?" She asked him.  
"How did you find me?" Renji asked, avoiding her question yet again.  
"I followed your spirit energy." Miu replied, deciding this time not to pry. "You've been letting a lot of it out lately."  
Renji starred at her for a minute, then looked back out over the pond.  
"I didn't realize. Like I said, I've been a little distracted lately..."  
"Renji?"  
"Yea?"  
"What's wrong?"

Renji was silent for a long time and Miu gave him his space. Eventually he frowned and looked back at her.  
"Miu, I need to tell you something."  
Miu noted the serious tone of his voice and nodded.  
"I'm listening." She said softly.  
Renji looked down for a moment, then looked back up to her.  
"I... I've been thinking..."  
Renji paused, trying to figure out the best way to say what he wanted.  
"I figured out why I've been so distracted lately."  
"OK. That's good... And?" Miu said encouragingly.  
Renji took a deep breath and looked away from Miu again.  
"It's only when you're around Miu..."  
Miu looked a little shocked.  
"Me?" She asked in surprise. Renji nodded.  
"Yea... At first it was only if you were watching me. But lately you just have to be there."  
Miu furrowed her brows.  
"I don't understand..."  
Renji swallowed and still didn't look at Miu.  
"You make me nervous Miu. You always have. But it's not like fear or ... or anxiety. It's more than that. Ever since I met you I felt it, but I always ignored it, I pushed it to the back of my mind. But I can't do that anymore, I can't deny it."  
Miu shook her head.  
"Renji, I still don't understand. What's -" She stopped as a look of realization crossed her face.  
Renji nodded but still refused to look at her.  
"I care about you Miu... More than anything..."  
Miu starred at him, her face emotionless. Renji continued.  
"You're more than a friend... I can't get you out of my head... I had to tell you, to get it out."  
Renji stopped talking and all was silent for a long time. Eventually he looked up at Miu. She was starring out over the pond with an unreadable expression. Renji swallowed and shifted nervously.  
"Miu, please... say something."  
Miu was quiet for a long time but eventually she spoke.  
"I'm sorry Renji, I have to go." She said, standing up. Without ever looking at him, Miu turned, and in a flash she was gone.

Renji starred at the spot Miu had just been in shock. After a few minutes, he picked up a stone by the pond and hurled it with all his might.  
"Damn it!!" He yelled in frustration. He'd been wrong. The hardest part hadn't been admitting his feelings to himself, the hardest part had been admitting them to Miu. And telling her hadn't made him feel better, because now he felt worse than he ever had in his entire life. Renji stood up and resisted the urge to punch or kick something. Instead, he headed back to Seireitei.

* * *

BANG, BANG, BANG  
Renji awoke to the sounds of something loud. When he opened his eyes, he had to close them again against the sunlight. He groaned and slowly reopened his eyes, wondering why there was now a shadow over him. Looking up, his un-asked question was answered as he noted his Captain starring down at him.  
"Get up." Byakuya said tonelessly.  
"What time is it?" Renji groaned.  
"It doesn't matter." Byakuya answered. "Get up and get dressed. We've got a mission."  
Byakuya left and Renji got up and quickly got dressed. It was definitely early in the morning. Very early.

When Renji left his room, Byakuya was outside waiting for him. He followed his Captain until they arrived at a pair of gates, already surrounded by Squads Two, Ten and the rest of Squad Six.  
"Where are we going?" Renji asked.  
"The world of the living." Byakuya answered. "A Menos Grande showed up there."  
Renji looked over all the people, then at the gates to the World of the living.  
"Are three Squads going to be enough?"  
Byakuya didn't look at him.  
"We won't know until we get there."  
Renji said nothing else and waited for their departure. Captain Soi Fong was at the head of the crowd and looked out over them all.  
"Is everyone here?" She yelled loudly. The rest of the Captains gave her confirmation and she nodded.  
"Alright! Lets go!"  
The gates opened and everyone ran through to the world of the living.

Renji exited the portal and immediately halted in his tracks. Before them all stood the biggest hollow he had ever seen. It had many arms and had little trouble discarding the hundreds of soul reapers attacking it.  
"It's huge!" Renji said aloud.  
"Don't just stand there!" Byakuya barked. Renji shook his head and charged at the hollow. But just before his Zanpaktou struck the thing, Miu's face appeared before his eyes.  
"Huh?" Again he halted in his tracks, but this caused him to get hit by the rampaging hollow and get thrown back a few dozen feet.  
Renji stood up again and shook his head.  
"Stop it Renji!" He scolded himself angrily. "This is NOT the time for thinking about her!"

Renji charged at the hollow again, but again Miu's face appeared before him. He made to swing at the hollow anyway, but this time he managed to take a good full-body blow. Renji got knocked to his feet, having the wind knocked out of him. His entire body hurt and he knew he was bleeding. Once he caught his breath, Renji continued his attacks on the hallow, but he couldn't get Miu's face out of his mind, earning him blow after blow.

Finally, after hours of fighting, Renji heard a voice behind him.  
"You can all go home now, the big boys have come to your rescue!"  
Renji turned around and saw Captain Kenpachi's smirking, hulking frame in front of him. All the other Squads heaved a sigh of relief when they saw the new arrivals. The fight would be much easier with Squad Eleven's help.  
Renji turned back to charge at the hollow, and this time the hallow turned directly towards him.  
"Don't you ever give up boy? Well that's what I get for going easy on you I suppose. Allow me to correct my self!"  
Renji growled and raised his Zaapaktou, knowing he couldn't defend himself this time. The hollow was closing in on him, just about to take him out when he heard a single word beside him.  
"Scatter."  
Renji watched as Captain Kuchiki's zanpaktou tore through the hallow, making it shriek in pain and stumble back a few feet. His captain then turned to him with an angry look.  
"Go back Renji!" He said angrily. Renji straightened and raised his zanpaktou stubbornly.  
"No, sir, I won't! I can fight!"  
"No, you can't!" Byakuya barked angrily. "You're embarrassing me and the rest of your squad! Go back to Seireitei! I'll deal with you when this is over!!"  
Renji starred at his Captain in mild shock. He had never seen the man so furious and he knew there was no room for argument. So, with a slight nodd, Renji turned and headed back towards the gate to Seireitei. It was only now that he realized just how weak and beaten he was. He had almost made it to the gate when his strength finally failed him. He dropped to one knee panting, digging his zanpaktou into the ground to use as support.  
"Wow Luteninent! Looks like you really took a beating!"  
Renji didn't have to look up to know that the annoying voice belonged to Squad Eleven's tiny pink-haired Lieutenant.  
"Hey Kenny! I think he might need some help!"  
Renji closed his eyes, feeling Captain Kenpachi's spirit energy as he walked up to him.  
"Yea, I think you're right Yochiuru. Shima! He's your friend right? Take him back to Seireitei and see that he gets patched up. I think we can handle things here without you this time."  
By the tone of his voice, Renji knew the Captain was smirking. The man was positively itching with the anticipation of a new challenge. He would have taken on the monstrous hollow all on his own if the others had let him.  
Renji's attention left the Captain as he felt Miu's spirit energy. He groaned, not wanting to be anywhere near her.  
"Are you sure captain?" He heard her ask, though she sounded greatly relieved. But Renji didn't hear anything else because it was at that moment that his body decided to give out on him. Renji dropped to the ground in a heap as the darkness finally claimed him.

* * *

Renji awoke feeling like he'd been hit by a bus. He groaned and opened his eyes, looking up to find a small Squad Four boy leaning over him. The boy smiled and leaned back, then turned and spoke to someone.  
"Lieutenant Abarai will be just fine! All he needs is a little more time to heal!"  
"Thank you Hanatarou! I can't thank you enough!"  
Renji grimaced when he recognised Miu's voice. He turned to look at the two and saw the boy give her a smile and a small bow.  
"Just call if you need me again." He said kindly. He then stood up and left the room; a room Renji now recognised as Miu's.

When the boy was gone, Miu looked back at Renji and gave him a lopsided smile.  
"Well, you certainly know how to make a statement." She said, trying to coax a smile from him. The attempt failed.  
Renji frowned and turned away from Miu with a snort. Miu frowned too.  
"Renji-"  
"Don't." He said cutting her off. Miu sighed but said nothing else. After a few minutes of silence, Renji spoke again.  
"How long was I out?"  
"The entire day." Miu replied. "You're nearly all healed now, thanks to Hanatarou... Just a few bruises and small cuts."  
Renji sighed.  
"Great." He mumbled irritably. All was quiet again but after a moment, Miu moved closer to him.  
"I was really worried about you." She said softly. Renji snorted again and Miu frowned.  
"What had you so distracted Renji?" She asked quietly.  
"Nothing." Renji mumbled. "Just a bad day."  
"Renji... was it because of me?"  
Renji scowled and turned his head completely away from her. Becuase of this, he didn't see Miu's deep frown.  
"Renji! You can't keep getting distracted because of me! You'll end up losing your place. Captain Kuchiki is furious with you... or-or worse! You'll end up losing your life!"  
Renji finally turned back to her with a furious look.  
"Do you think I don't know that?! Do you think I do it on purpose? I don't! I didn't want to be distracted, I never did! Not any of those times, but I was! I didn't want to make a fool of myself, or to fuck up whatever I was doing just because you were there! But I did! I always do! Believe me Miu, if I could stop caring, if I could push you out of my mind, if I could turn you away, I damn-well would! But I can't OK! I just CAN'T!"  
Renji turned away, trying to keep up the pretense of being angry. But he was more than that. He was hurt, embarrassed and saddened. But more than anything, he was scarred. Scarred he would lose the Miu he already had, lose the special bond they already sharred. It had seemed like so little before, but looking at it now, it was heaven compared to not having her in his life at all.

After a very long silence, Miu finally spoke.  
"Well... I guess if you can't focus... if you're going to always be distracted because you don't have me... if the only way you'll get back on track again is if we're together... then I guess that's what'll have to happen."  
Renji glared at the wall, not really registering what Miu had said. But after a few minutes, the words seemed to click in his mind and his head snapped around to face her.  
"What?" He said sharply, convinced that he hadn't heard her right.  
Miu gave him a smile.  
"I said I want to be with you... Lieutenant Abarai." She said playfully.  
Renji starred at her for a few moments, stunned beyond words. Then he suddenly laughed and grabbed her, pulling her to him and crushing her lips with his.  
Miu smiled into the kiss and kissed him back.

Renji felt like he was going to burst with joy. The feeling was overwhelming him and he didn't know what do do with himself. As he kissed Miu, he poured out all the pent up feelings into the gesture and let her know just how much she meant to him. But the thing that delighted him to the point of insanity was that she seemed to be feeding back to him the same passion.  
Renji rolled a little until Miu was laying partially below him, not breaking the kiss for a moment. He pulled away from Miu and kissed across her cheeks until he reached her neck. He moved down her neck and kissed there for a while, emitting a tiny moan from Miu. Renji then slipped his hand inside her robes and slipped them from her shoulders, moving his kisses there as well. He began to move across her chest until he realized what he was doing and stopped, looking up at Miu apologetically.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize -- I didn't mean to get carried away."  
Miu looked at him for a moment, then she smiled and a slight pink flush crossed her cheeks.  
"It's OK Renji... you don't have to stop."  
Renji starred at her in surprise.  
"Are you sure?" He asked. Miu nodded and Renji gave her a smile, leaning in to give her another sweet kiss.  
Renji moved back down Miu's neck and shoulders, removing the cloth with gentle hands as he dropped soft kisses along the way.  
All his days combined could not compare to this one. Renji was ready to explode with happiness. Finally, after waiting for so long, Renji had figured out what was wrong with him. He had been missing his other half, for he knew for sure now, that that's what Miu was. His one true love, his better half. His soul mate.

Renji laid beside Miu, both fully exposed to each other, offering themselves completely. He reached out and placed a hand on her face, eyes locking with hers.  
"I love you Miu." He whispered softly, caressing her face with still gentle fingers.  
Miu starred at him through glossy eyes, smiling happily.  
"I love you too, Renji. I always have..."  
Renji starred at her in shock for a moment, then laughed.  
"Stupid me." He said with a smile. Miu laughed and he leaned in and kissed her again.  
That night, two bodies became one, and two halves became whole. Renji was finally at peace and he couldn't have asked the Gods for anything else. So with a silent prayer of thanks, Renji allowed himself to get lost this new world, knowing his would never be quite the same again. And for once, he was completely happy with that.

* * *

Renji once again awoke to a sunbeam in the eye. He stretched, then looked down beside him and smiled. Miu was still sleeping peacefully, a delicate smile adorning her face. Renji got up and got dressed, then leaned back down to Miu and kissed her deeply. He pulled away and placed his Lieutenants badge on her pillow, letting her know he didn't just walk out on her, then leaned down to her again.  
"I Love you Miu." He whispered softly. He then kissed her again and stood up to leave, pausing at the door for one last look.

After getting showered and refreshed, Renji went to find his Captain. He found him talking to one of the other Captains, but Byakuya bid farewell to the man when Renji approached him. Byakuya looked Renji over and starred at him.  
"You look better." He stated tonelessly. "Are you back to normal?"  
Renji had to hold back a smirk.  
"Yes, sir. I've fixed the problem."  
"You'd better have." Byakuya replied. "Because if anything like yesterday happens again, you'll have more to worry about than some simple personal problem. Do you understand me Renji?"  
Such a comment from his Captain usually would have made Renji shiver, but this time Renji simply smiled and bowed.  
"Yes, sir! Understood!"  
Byakuya turned, and with a swish of robes and a slight flicker, he was gone. Renji turned in the direction of the living quarters and smiled.  
"You were never a simple personal problem Miu." He whispered with a smile. Then he sped off. All was right in the world and Renji knew that as long as he was whole, it would always be that way. No matter what.


End file.
